Fun with UPS

Let me tell you about my encounter with UPS today. On Thursday, I sent a next day air package to Colorado. I didn't want to just mail it because I wanted a tracking number and going to the post office is a pain in the arse. The recipient had failed to give me a suite number, so when I checked the tracking today, there was a delivery exception. It said there was no apartment or suite number on the package so they couldn't deliver it. The message said that they would send the recipient a postcard with instructions to pick up the package at the local customer service center. Now, if they couldn't deliver the package, how the hell is a postcard going to get there? I decided to call UPS, after calling the recipient to get the suite number, to let UPS know the suite number for re-delivery. Here's my call:
UPS: Welcome to United Parcel Service (or something like that). Please say one of the following options:
Tracking a package
Shipping a package
Order supplies
(Now, I hate voice menus. I would much rather press a number.)
Me: tracking a package.
UPS: Please say the tracking number.
Me: 1Z3Eblah,blah,blah
UPS: I'm sorry. There is no information on this tracking number. Please check back later for updated information.
(returns to the original menu)
I press 0.
UPS: Welcome to United Parcel Service (or something like that). Please say one of the following options:
Tracking a package
Shipping a package
Order supplies
Me: Order supplies.
UPS: Press 1 to have an order form faxed to your location. Or stay on the line for an agent.
I wait. I get a real human.
UPS: Hi, my name is whatever. How can I help you?
Me: I was tracking my package and saw the delivery exception because of a missing suite number. I called the recipient and got the suite number. Now I want to give it to you so the package can be delivered.
UPS: What is the tracking number?
Me: 1Z3Eblah,blah,blah
UPS: Oh, there's a delivery exception on that package because of missing address information.
Me: That's why I called.
UPS: Well, we can't add the suite number and redeliver it. You need to come down to the customer service center and pick it up.
Me: I'm in Georgia. I'm the sender. Not the recipient.
UPS: Can you call them and tell them to pick up the package.
Me: No, it's a big office with hundreds of people. They're not going to run down to the customer service center to pick it up.
UPS: Well, I'm sorry but there aren't any other options.
Me: Well just shred it then.
UPS: We can't do that. After 14 days, we can send it back to you.
Me: Is it going to cost me another $35?
UPS: No.
I hung up. Now, I don't know about other cities, but in my town the UPS guys know more gossip than any beauty shop and they know where everyone is. I had a UPS guy leave my package at a local market once because he knew I would eventually show up there. One time I got a package at my office in a different town because they knew where I worked and it was closer than going to my house. The office building in Colorado is one of those small 4 story buildings in a nicely manicured office park and I know the recipient's company probably took up a whole floor. I know damn well the UPS guy knew where this office was. I guess now I have to mail it.